Poetry Challenge #44 – Ghazal – Whispered Words

I’ve been playing with the idea for weeks, I’m not a poet, but I wanted to try and see if I could at least pull off a half, maybe not decent, but a half okay, sort of all right, you know, passable poem. Sadly, it seems, I picked a bad week to try my hand at Jane Dougherty’s poetry challenge, but I’ve made up my mind to give it a crack anyway. So, enjoy, it was fun.

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As the sun’s rays break through the dark morning sky,

I let my mind wander, I let my heart fly.

I rise up though the trees, up through the clouds,

My mind is a condor, I let my heart fly.

I rush towards her beauty, I feel her soft light,

I let my mind ponder, I let my heart fly.

Through day and though night and through sunset I fight,

Surviving just to feel her, I let my heart fly.

I’m griped by her power, I’m lost in her love,

Her love I don’t squander, I let my heart fly.

Dawn was a theme, and a Ghazal is a love poem, so I think, this worked. Head over here to join in on the challenge.

23 Comments Add yours

    1. Thanks so much, I enjoy working outside my comfort zone, so any chance I get to experiment, I’ll try.

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  1. Visit http://beyondwords0120.wordpress.com for amateur poetry .we welcome your comments on our work

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  2. pranabaxom says:

    Beautiful. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, it was a very different beast from what I normally work with, I really enjoyed stretching myself.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. pranabaxom says:

        Yes, it was different. I was surprised that I could ultimately follow the rules, atleast majority of them.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I was too, it was a fun exercise, it’s funny what you can do when you take the leap.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Imelda says:

    That’s quite lovely.🙂

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  4. ~M says:

    Brilliant! Oh… you’re a poet alright! No doubt about it…. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, it was a challenge, but enjoyed it, something I never really played with before. I’ll definitely have another go at some more in the future.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ~M says:

        Good! Look forward to reading more. 🙂

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  5. InsanelyNuts says:

    Hey…thanks…n great words…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, I never thought I would attempt anything like this and it was fun, I also guess its all part of the journey, challenging yourself to do what you are unsure of because you don’t know what will happen if you try.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Lovely ghazal! It was a tricky week to start, but this is great. I particularly like the image of your mind as a condor. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, I really had no idea where I was going with it at first, but it built itself from the bottom up, once I had the final line it just worked. Oh and I realised it was missing the last verse just before I posted it, but in the end, I enjoyed it, and I’m glad you did too.

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  7. ljerguson66 says:

    Reblogged this on Things I Like to Blog About… and commented:
    This poem struck a chord with me. Freedom and love! Enjoy

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  8. ljerguson66 says:

    I thought this was very good…reblogging this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, it was a fun tale to write, so many things wrapped in a word.

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  9. Thank you for contributing. I’m so pleased you decided to take the plunge. Making a poem public has always seemed to me harder than letting unknowns read a piece of prose. Poetry is more personal maybe. You’re right, this was a tough week to choose for a debut, but you can be proud of your ghazal—I would be if I’d written it🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jane, thank you, I had fun with it, certainly not something I have ever really tried my hand at before, I’ve rhymed before, but never built a poem with so many rules behind it🙂 I’m looking forward to next weeks challenge.

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      1. I’m glad🙂 It’s been a steep learning curve for me too, with so many different forms to try out. I’ve stopped insisting on a new one each week since many of the new ones I don’t find particularly interesting, and some of the classic forms go on forever. Sometimes it’s just an image, a theme and a handful of words. We’ll see next week.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I look forward to it 😀

        Liked by 1 person

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