Poetry Challenge #45 – Rondelet – Whispered Words

Okay, another week, and something new, again. I’m not sure if I got this one or not, but, I’ve had a good smash at it. Summer Storm was the theme, and the poem form is a rondelet, and the image is, below.

stormy_skies

photo ©Fir0002

 

I close my eyes,

As the clouds move slowly in,

I close my eyes,

For I cannot watch her as she cries,

Her tears begin to soak into my skin,

Slowly washing away the remains of my sin,

I close my eyes.

 

Head over here to join in on the challenge, and view other participants works.

 

What was I thinking here with this?

Does it meet the challenge?

These are questions, that we all want answer to, maybe this, quick short below will help.

 

I fall to my knees, into the dirt,

her blood, still over my hands,

I hear the clap of thunder,

how strange it would happen now,

after I all that came before,

I look up into the oncoming storm,

and open my arms out wide,

closing my eyes and embracing the cleansing of the storm.

5 Comments Add yours

  1. I think you could get a story out of this one. There’s a menace in it that goes well with the stormy theme. I think you maybe have a few too many beats in some of the lines. You could easily fiddle them into eight beats if you wanted to.

    Like

  2. I like this. It’s quite dark, feels like there’s more to this story…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I felt like there was something, hiding in the words, maybe, I’ll revisit it and find out what needs to be said.

      Like

      1. Look forward to seeing it!

        Liked by 1 person

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