Day 135 Daily Prompt – Generous – 50 Word Story Expanded

“Here,” he says holding out a fifty dollar note towards him, the mans eyes light up. He leans forward, confusion, excitement and fear all run across his face in matter of seconds, he nervously reaches out a hand. His eyes dart from the note, to the strangers face, and then, back to the crisp fifty dollar note. He gently takes it in his fingers and grips it as the stranger releases his.

“Why?”

“Why? Because, you called, that’s way,” he says, he sees a flash of teeth, white, bright teeth from within the man’s shadowed face as he smiles.

“I called? I don’t understand?”

The stranger laughs as he pulls a packet of cigarettes from his coat and offers him one, which he quickly takes. He runs it underneath his nose, then, with a strong whiff, he draws its toxic, wonderful fragrance into his face, leaning back against the alleyway wall and allows himself to smile.

“Of course you understand, you see, I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t,” the stranger says, as he lights his own cigarette, the flame of the match lights up his face, his skin looks soft, un-blemished, like that of a teenager, but his features are that of a man in his late forties.

“I-I-I, I really don’t understand.”

He smiles, “Derek, I can call you Derek, can’t I?” He says, Derek nods his head slowly.

“H-H-How do you know my name?”

“I’ll take that as yes, how long have you been living on these streets? Six, seven years?”

“Six.”

“How many times have you wished, prayed, begged for a miracle?”

“Everynight,” he says softly, as his eyes begin to well up with tears.

“Well, tonight will be the first night where you won’t, as I’m here because your call, your pleads, your cries, are to be answered. In other words, welcome to your new life,” the man says, suddenly the alleyway around them transforms into a dining room. A plethora of food lies on the table, food he hasn’t seen for years, and every dish, everyone, are his favirouties. He turns to the stranger and cannot hold back his tears any longer.

“I don’t know how I can thank you, everything you’ve done today will not be forgotten,” he says, looking up at him, tears running down his cheeks.

“I’m not being generous here sport, this is what you’d call, a building experience for everyone,” he says with a uncomfortable, wry smile.

“A, building experience?”

The stranger laughs, “This is your new life, but, to hold onto it all Derek, you will be doing things that, you’ll wish not to remember. Things that will bring suffering to others, things, that, well, let’s just leave it at that, for now.”

“I don’t understand, you said you were sent from God, why would he ask things of me that would do wrong to others?”

“Derek,” he says as he smiles, his wide, white, toothy smile once again. “When did I say God had sent me? For, he, that sniveling, pathetic, scum fucker, was not the only one you called to, you also, called to me.”

 

If you want to read the original 50 word story, go HERE.

Generous is today’s Daily Prompt

15 Comments Add yours

  1. Jenn Moss says:

    I think this falls under the warning to be careful about things that seem too good to be true! 😉

    Meanwhile, I’m enjoying both these 50

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jenn Moss says:

      Ack, hit send too soon. (A problem when I’m typing on my phone.) Anyway, I like both these 50 word snippets and the expanded versions.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks so much, I try to make them have a different feel, but, yet the same. Thanks so much for enjoying them. And I agree, phones a problematic because of how close all the buttons are, 90% of my writing is done on my phone, it leads to embarrassing mistakes sometimes 😳

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m working my way through Crevlock Tower, really enjoying the characters, I’m still a while behind, but I’ll get there.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Nice imagery. I actually have a faith in God that I don’t follow as much as I would like to – but I fucking love villains in stories who are blasphemous and antireligious. Idk why I just do lol I kinda tried to make my Dr. Laruzo character like that as well

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It makes you hate them even more, it gives credence to their places in the system.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Definitely. Characters that you love to hate are really the only villains worth anything.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Expressions of Derek were the highlight. You wrote a beautiful story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, I liked where it went, the whole, be carful what you ask for scenario, mixed with be carful who you ask it.

      Like

  4. oglach says:

    Really liked the set up on this one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, I saw this so clearly, I knew what I wanted to do, but, like everything, the expanded version, had the same outcome, but a different path than I originally saw.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Haha! I LOVE IT! The imagery is great, and the way you set the scene. I knew what was coming but I still loved the delivery of it all at the end!

    This is a great story.

    Cheers! ^_^

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, the old be carful who wish to, I liked how this came together, only a fool would think it was all above board 👍

      Liked by 1 person

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