Day 160 – Tears – 50 Word Story

The knife tears into his stomach and he screams out in pain, “Does it hurt?” She asks, gripping him by the face, then begins to greedily lick up the tears that run down his cheeks, before shoving him backwards and laughing as he crashes to the ground in a heap.

Keep an eye out for the 50 Word Story Extended version, or, if you’re feeling game, try to extend it yourself…..

5 Comments Add yours

  1. azpascoe says:

    I like this! I found your sentence structure here: “She asks, gripping him by the face, she begins…” a little off-putting though, kind of like you needed a full stop or another strong punctuation mark in there to break it up. But I’m looking forward to seeing the extended version!🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree, and I think I know how to fix it, maybe the wording is wrong.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Replace she with then, I think it flows better.

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s